Washington DC is NOT the Fashion Capital

Here's my video I made while at the Travel Channel Film Academy in Washington DC.

I'm very proud of it considering we had one day to shoot and edit the piece. Also, it was my first time shooting myself. Yes, I know I have work to go but I think this is a pretty good start.

Let me know what you think!!

Words of Wisdom

NEVER

EVER



FART IN A WET SUIT.


Yes, this is the chain e-mail of wisdom floating around Beautmont hospital.

While the fact that "serious" medical people sent this to me, what I find more interesting is how bad the cut and paste is. You know that some person was seriously bored at work when they made this. But I guess I can't say anything- some of us blog, others send chain e-mails, and the select few do botch photoshop jobs of fourth grade humor... Gotta love it.



Thanks Mom.

Frappuccino Me

I knew those iced drinks were bad for me.. but I didn't realize how bad!
Check out these sobering stats:

1 Black Coffee w/splash of sugar & milk = 35 calories

To bad-

1 Grande Vanilla Frappuccino = 430 calories/14g of Fat

To worse!-

1 Tim Hortons Large Mint Iced Cap = 680 calories/30g of Fat!!


And if you think about it this way...

1 McDonald's Quarter Pounder is "only" 410 calories/19g of Fat



Yikes!!

Americans get such a bad rep for being fat, but those Canadians are the real fat asses! I am never have Tim Horton's again!


For more stats and tips check this out from the Globe & Mail:
href="http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20070725.wlbeck25/BNStory/specialScienceandHealth/home">

Destiny's Child Alums Ain't Pretty

You'd think after touring with the biggest female group of all-time that you'd be a season pro on the stage- Think again!


Here's Beyonce eating it at an Orlando concert yesterday:



I love how she 'recovers' by headbanging like nothing happened. At least pull out a fierce dance move!


And Kelly Rowland fainting on stage:



I feel like an evil person when I say that's hilarious!!! Come on, she's totally okay... I'm still going to hell? Whatev, red is totally my color.

Hobo Love

Running back from a good night of exercise Monday, I stumbled upon two hobos enjoying an after sex smoke- I kidd you not!

Right there on 13th between University & 5th, the woman hobo was smoking a ciggy and turned toward her lover who was already passed out.

Well, good to know some things stay the same even when you're at your lowest... Although I'm SOO grateful I decided to stay later at the gym and do those crunches!

Degrassi's Sketchy

See at the bottom right hand corner where it says, what college guy would you date?

Well that's me and my friend Adam, a photo taken while we were celebrating our graduation. Who knows who took the photo and how the HELL it ended up on a Canadian teen television show's website (Degrassi).

Aren't I entitled some royalties for that or something?

Man Vs Wild: A Fraud!

Sure Lohans and Titties are... but Bear Grylls?! Oh my!

(Ok, at least I tried to be clever).

According to the NY Post, Discovery is looking into reports that Bear 'roughed it' in luxury hotels while he should've been spending the night in the Wild.

On the program, Grylls appears to camp out in quickly-built shelters deep in the wilderness while battling hypothermia and dehydration. But when the cameras stop rolling, Grylls has actually moved to luxurious hotels.

In the last two seasons, he and producers have contrived other scenes to make it appear as if Grylls is more skilled than he really is, a consultant for the show told The Times of London.

"If you really believe everything happens the way it is shown on TV, you are being a little bit naive," said Mark Weinert, an Oregon-based survival consultant, who said producers hired him as an adviser for the show.

"Discovery Communications has learned that isolated elements of the 'Man vs. Wild' show in some episodes were not natural to the environment, and that for health and safety concerns the crew and host received some survival assistance while in the field," a spokeswoman for the network said.

"Moving forward the program will be 100 percent transparent and all elements of the filming will be explained up-front to our viewers. In addition, shows that are to be repeated will be edited appropriately."

That's totally upsetting, but understandable. I had the same idea when I was roughing it in Banff!

But regardless of the hotels and what-not, you still gotta respect Bear for this stunt:

Blohan's Blown

I was going to name this post "Blohan Deja Vu" or "The Stupid Girl Gets Busted Again" or "Off To Jail LiLo Goes" but I decided no, the girl is simply screwed.

If you haven't heard, Lindsay Lohan was BUSTED at 2am this morning for a multitude of Felony charges (yikes). Blohan allegedly was tipped off to the cops as she dangerously chased her personal assistant's mom's vehicle after a surprise party.

Lohan failed her sobriety test (Oopsie! #1), was charged with chasing a vehicle (Darnit! #2), and possession of cocaine in her pant pocket (Shizzle #3).

Besides the obvious that the girl is pulling a Paris Hilton times 20, she's also on the straight path for has-beens and/or bankruptcy as she will probably never work again.

I would say LiLo's going to wind up looking like Keith Richards in 40 years, but hell at this rate it may be 15.

Or, even more scary, she might not even make it that far...





Yuck.


But if you got to look on the brightside (I'm feeling like a glass full girl these days) at least she hasn't killed anyone Brandy Prison Break guy... well yet at least.

This Makes Me Sick

What's even more scary than skydiving is the U.S. healthcare system.

I'm so happy I didn't see this movie before I went skydiving or else I would've really thought twice about putting my body in danger.

You can see Michael Moore's SICKO free online, just follow this link:

http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docId=5479371196999991466&hl
=en&autoplay=1

"http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docId=5479371196999991466&hl=en&autoplay=1">

Okay, I can't figure out this link thing for the life of me. So do your best with copying and pasting the above address.

Scaring Mom & Dad

It's Friday the 13th.

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA



And what better way to celebrate the occasion than scaring your parent's half to death.


So Mom & Dad: I WENT SKYDIVING!!!


Breathe.


And to be perfectly honest, it was a scary experience. We went to this rinky-dink airport in the middle of nowhere, Alberta.



Oh sorry, in the middle of Redneck Land, Alberta.





Seeing the trailers, toothless workers, and aging skydivers, I was less than pleased to be signing my life away.





But I geared up in my green foam helmet along with my pushing 60, awkwardly social camera man and 40 year old, tiny tandem skydiver into the rickety airplane whose pilot looked like she should be driving a tractor (those are in fact Doug's words).






And weeeeeeeeeee, I crash landed into the foam guiders on the ground.


Skydiving was actually a lot more fun than it was scary. Basically it's like a really expensive roller coaster; you're really along for the ride while your tandem skydiver does all the real things. Bungee jumping/cliff diving is way scarier because you are in control of the way you fall and whether or not your hurt yourself. They also much tougher on your body than skydiving.


No worries, there will be a video coming soon!

Hell on Earth: Banff

Banff is one of the most beautiful places in the world. It's tucked between awe-inspiring mountains and prestine rivers in the middle of a National Park.

But all that beauty goes to HELL when you're getting attacked by blood sucking mosquitoes, have black bears scoping out the campsite, and freezing half to death on the side of a mountain.


Welcome to my first (and last!) camping experience on Tunnel Mountain, Banff.




Here's our tent. Some may say cozy, some may say small, I say my piss poor protection from the monster mosquitoes. Don't I look so radiant, basking in the beauty of nature?




And here, I'm trying to get an edubacation and read the newspaper, but I have four Mama Elks watching every word I read.




And they're stalking Doug too while he tries to chop wood from a less-than-adequate axe that we forgot to bring to go with the matches we forgot to grab.




So after a half an hour of fighting over the fire, Doug pulled flames out of his ass and got one started. Pretty impressive not only for a city boy, but also because we had no kindling. So with this fire we decided to eat our Chinese take out and down the oversized bottle of cheap wine.




After a cold night on the mountain I decided to drink away my memories of the bugs, cold, and bears in a bar and pray for the day when I can afford a hotel room...

A New Queen's In Town

Posh and Becks, more formally known as Victoria & David Beckham, moved to LA yesterday. Yes, Becks is the breadwinner of the family- great looks, $250 LA Galaxy soccer contract, a movie named after him...

But I'm totally rooting for Posh. I will totally admit that I love her fashion sense, her new hair, and her fabulous "I'm greater than thou" image. And in this interview with Matt Lauer she shows she's also humble, articulate, and above all knows how to work the media.

All the Brangelina's and rehab addicted stars can go to hell cause aliens are taking over.


I heart Victoria "Fembot" Beckham!!

Cowboys

Cowboys is the most famous Stampede party hotspot... and really should be named Cowgirls. These cowgirls are a lot smarter than those cowboys cause they'll make $12,000 working the Stampede without putting their life in danger. And guess what their bonus is for all their work?


IMPLANTS!!!!!!!!

YEE HAW!!!




So I put this shooter girl and her hard earned breasts to work! Not only did she mix me a shot, she also gave me a nice rub with her balloon boobs. She rubbed my head so much my hair actually started to stand up from the static. Kinda hot, kinda not. Ok, my hair didn't, but I'd bet another $7 shot that potentially she could do it.


There were a few cowboys at the Stampede... Here's a really funny lookin' one trying to dance at Whiskey:




So manly. :)





Here's Doug and his brother and sister-in-law, Al & Estelle. Thanks guys for your hospitality and showing us an awesome time in Calgary!

Calgary Stampede!!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!



The Calgary Stampede is known as the rodeo with the most cash-to-win ($2 million), but it's much more than a rodeo. A good way to describe it is as 1 part (bad) fair, 1 part amusement park, 1 part rodeo, and 3 parts party.
A.k.a. most Stampeders have never been to the rodeo.

So I decided to buck the trend (pun intended) and check out the Cowboys, er rodeo. ;)




Here they are all lined up in the beginning "ceremony." The cowboys were opened up by the Calgary Stampede Marching Band who used rifles instead of batons and played Michael Jackson's Thriller. No, I'm not kidding.





Calf roping. Probably the most disputed part of the rodeo for being cruel, right above tieing the bulls' and broncos' testicles so they buck.
A little Debbie Downer, but I think this is an awesome pic.





Here's bareback riding, which is exactly like bronco riding except with a saddle. Ouch!! - For both the horse and cowboys' you-know-what's.





And there's also bull riding... duh! From this (awful) pic it kind of looks like an overweight cow, but trust me they're really scary.


Doug had a great way of summing up the rodeo by saying:
"In Europe they run away from the bulls, here in Alberta we ride them. Yee Haw!!"



P.S. I totally made up the last yee haw.

Dupree= Trendsetter

Here's a video of Dupree, my brother's Frenchie, sporting the latest in fashionable dog wear (courtesy of his Aunt of course).

I mean, seriously, who cares if Dupree can neither a) swim nor b) like swimming, because that dog looks howlin' in his bright orange life vest.

It's like a neon sign for all those fine, petite bitches (females dogs of course) that says "Look at me, I look cool- and I can swim without drowning. Yeah!"


Ok, no. I bought it because it was the most ridiculous thing I could find at Petco. I'm glad they put it to use... even if it scared Dupree half to death.

I'm So Old!!

Time Out New York has a new cover story calculating your New York "Age."

AND I'M THIRTY-SIX.

It tried to cheer me up with this half-ass blurb:

This New York age puts you into a middle category between young and old (but not "middle age" per se). Be proud. You've got a nice balance between going out hard-core and staying in. You care about culture but also like some quiet nights. Keep it up, but think about expanding your horizons in the other directions. Head to Studio B or Anthology Film Archives for the first time, or finally check out the Village Vanguard or Elaine's for a dose of old-school NYC.

But WTF. Staying in? Sorry I don't know Brooklyn, Mister Time Out editors. Or that I don't know the crazy subway stops or underground DJ's, but give me some questions about the doormen for all the best clubs and the editors of all the major blogs and I'll whoop yo ass.


If you want to take this lame quiz go here: http://www.timeout.com/newyork/article/5400/whats-your-new-york-age

Happy Fourth!!

Happy Independence Day!!!


Everyone in the world may hate us, but we can still celebrate being American!!!


GO RED, WHITE AND BLUE!!!

(WAHOO!!!)

Crashing Derek Jeter's B-Day Party

Now this post may not make sense because I'm a little hungover, and it's because I partied with the King of NYC: Mr. Derek Jeter.

It all started when I was training for a lowly waitress/bartender job at NYU bar "Society."

After the training one of the workers told me to stop by on Sunday for Derek Jeter's birthday party. He's friends with one of the owners so he was having a private bash.

I was very skeptical, not only because Society is a sh*thole (sorry future employer), but also because I had a pounding headache (I'm getting old!). But as Marietta and I approached Society, we saw an inordinate amount of black Escalades and knew we in for something big.



As we walked in, there you have it, Derek Jeter in the back safely behind a table and surrounded by the most massive amount of peroxide I've ever seen in New York. The 5-1 girl to guy ratio was definitely in his favor, but these girls were NO Jessica Biels, they weren't even Andrea Feczko's! ;) They looked like they could be any of those desperate girls on the Bachelor who are pushing their prime. Yuck.

So after a few drinks Marietta and I went over to introduce ourselves and say Happy Birthday. Since I didn't really care that much, I went over first and actually talked to him for a bit about growing up in K-Zoo, Mich. Then I turned it over to Marietta who just squealed "Happy Birthday", but in an adorable way.

We left his presence afterwards and I think this got his attention. What? The two youngest (and hottest) women in the place no hitting on me? Hehe. About 30 mins. later we left and said goodbye... this is where it gets good. I pulled a Marietta and just waved but he said, "No!" Took his hand out, said it was so nice to meet me, and gave me a little hug. Awwwwwwww, how nice.

For the King of New York, he's more Michigan than a NYC badass.

And I like it.