Trend Alert! JAIL

Not to be outdone by frenemy Paris, Lindsay Lohan has been arrested for misdemeanor DUI charges and felony drug possession charges for (surprise, surprise) cocaine.

On Saturday the driving challenged starlet jumped the curb and crashed her Mercedes into a tree. She was arrested at the hospital where she was being treated for chest injuries.

Now normally I would say, okay, she'll get a slap on the wrist and be ordered to go to rehab, which has proven to be so helpful to her in the past. But with Paris Hilton going to jail I would be more surprised if Lindsay didn't spend a night in the slammer. Hilton's jail sentence is (hopefully) setting a standard to punish celebrities who have notoriously been let off easy in the past.

And, like, O-M-G, you know Paris is totally going to bring back orange as the totally hot new color for summer and everyone will want to wear those zexy jumpers.

So hot.


Splash has this video - - of her running away from the scene.

It's Ain't Quality Journalism Unless There's a Crackhead

This is a hilarious video of a legitimate NBC news report about a Leprechaun sighting in Mobile, Alabama. As one woman put it, the story's about a bunch of crackheads. My favorite part though is how the "Leprechaun expert" claims he has a special flute from his Irish grandfather despite being very obviously not Irish.

It's a great example of the high standards NBC's affiliates live up to in their journalism.




If you want more here's a little rap with these iconic Mobile townies:




Thanks Adam!

My First Newspaper Cover

This photo of me was on the cover of the New York Sun the day after.

I'm so thrilled. My blonde streaks look so great.


... Wait, What do you mean you can't see me? I'm like the only NYU grad who has blonde hair!


Still nothing?


TO THE LEFT- TO THE LEFT dammit!

Finally... Graduation!

Yes, we had the party and the personal graduation before the big finale. Backwards much?

Whatever the case it was a gorgeous day to have 18,000 in Washington Square Park.



Jazz phenom Wynton Marsalis was out guest 'speaker.' Instead of giving the ho-hum 'go get 'em tiger' speech, he played an awesome (and short!) diddy on the trumpet. It was pretty cool.



And to make sure that Wynton didn't get hurt by a terrorist attack, the random SWAT guys were on the roofs securing the area. I'm not really sure if they were SWAT, but whatever is going on it's totally random and a little unnecessary if you ask me.



Alas, after four hours we finally graduated and go to dance and celebrate in the fountain!

The Empire Shows Its NYU Pride

The Empire State Building was purple in honor of all the NYU grads, putting all those rumors that NYU is taking over New York City to rest...

'Cause it's not a rumor, NYU is.

Grad Alley

Wednesday NYU had Grad Alley.



They had really cool gifts for us grads like this headband.
Trust me, this purple Statue of Liberty headband will be featured in Vogue next season. Just wait and see.




But really it was time to eat and hang out with friends...




And family.
One, Two, Three... Aww, how cute.




But NYU did know how to rock it with a stage and DJ.

And best of all:




A fireworks show in the middle of Manhattan! It was seriously one of the coolest things I've seen in a long time.

Grad 1: Radio City

Everyone laughed at me when I said I was so busy with graduation. But unlike normal schools who pack it all into one day, NYU thinks they're super special and turn graduation into a week long event.

My school's graduation, Steinhardt, was held at Radio City on Monday May 7.



Radio City is a pretty cool place to have a graduation, I'm not gonna lie. It's a little strange, though, considering this is a world famous venue that's hosting one of the, well how do I say this delicately, less prestigious NYU schools. What's even weirder is taking the subway to your graduation where you're all dressed up in a figure enhancing purple garbage bag and everyone else is going to work.




The novelty of having graduation at Radio City quickly wore off over the hours we had to wait before it began. So everyone decided to kill the time by taking tons of pictures. Knowing this, I opted not to ruin these photos by wearing that ugly hat. Some may say shallow, I say smart.




When the graduation finally began it started with a bunch of bag pipe players making a grand entrance onto the stage.

Ya, I don't get it either.



The worse was yet to come when our student speaker decided to pull out all the inspirational stops. She talked about how the world we're entering is going to shit because of the Iraq war, rapes of Haiti, Rwanda genocide, Darfur conflict, and.. it gets better... THE HOLOCAUST!

It almost made the next act, a fifteen minute off-tune compilation of the most obscure Broadway songs by "The Steinhardt Singers", look good.

I, luckily, came prepared and flipped through my bible (US Weekly) during all this until my name was called to walk across the stage.

May in Review

So for the past few weeks my blog has been looking a little dreary, I know, but that's because I've been too busy graduating!




And traveling the world!



My life is so hard- right?


You must be so jealous of me and maybe secretly even want to have my life (cause being jobless & hungover is something to strive to be), so I'll be nice and let you live vicariously through me as I retell the last few fabulous weeks...

Rosie & Elizabeth Catfight

This is the clip from Rosie & Elizabeth's catfight on Wednesday's "The View."

Although this is entertainment at its best, I think the real winner is Joy Behar. She makes some great points, unfortunately she has neither Elizabeth's looks nor Rosie's control to come out of this the star.

I think this also spells the beginning of the end for Rosie. Now that her days are numbered she's going to pull out all the stops. I can't wait to watch the youtube clips. :)

I'm A TRL Star

In a few minutes I'm putting on my best "bright colored" outfit and heading over to be part of the studio audience for the croaking MTV show "TRL."


That is, if they don't kick me out of the audience for:

A) My bright red booty shorts

B) Being too drunk from my pre-show pre-gaming

C) In a perfect world- for me and my red shorts stealing the show

A Unique Description of Venice

Here's the latest from my brother, Matt, on Venice:


Hello,
I was actually in Venice today for a little bit. And the water
taxi thing sounds strange but that is the only way to get around. I
have never seen anything like Venice before. The city is in the
middle of the ocean, the sidewalks are like 2 feet above the water.
And there are only sidewalks and rivers, hardly any streets. I walked
100 feet outside the terminal and there was a line of taxis...boat
taxis. I swear, it was so strange but also amazing. This city is
totally fuked when the waters rise from global warming. Good thing we
are going now. Oh, 70/80s and sunny here. Very nice.



I'm going to Venice today for a Mediterranean cruise from May 10-20... after my (second) graduation.

I'll see you guys when I'm tan and plump with pasta!


P.S. Picture circa 2005, before global warming.

Blohan Pulls A Kate Moss

These stills from a video where Lindsay Lohan is (allegedly) doing cocaine were leaked on the internet yesterday.

Shocking!

.. Ya, right.

Lindsay basically admitted to doing coke in a Vanity Fair article and rumors of her taking 20 minutes in the ladies room ran ramped on both the blogosphere and mainstream news a.k.a. The Daily Show.

This can have one of two effects: ruin her career or rejuvenate her career a la Kate Moss.

Unfortunately in a scandal obsessed town like Hollywood it will probably be the latter.

Project My World Search

In LA today for this audition, because I am definitely the girl for this job.


... Well at least I think so!

Fainting Goats

There are fainting goats in Tennessee y'all!

Pretty funny/weird video. Gotta love Canadians because only they would broadcast something like this.



Thanks Doug.

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

It's the 5th of May!

So grab your sombrero- get your tequila- and get rowwwwwwwwdy!!!

Brad & Shiloh Are Too Cute!

Brad Pitt is in Prague spending some quality time with Shiloh, a.k.a. the beautiful blob, while filming a new movie.

Check out these pictures, it will make your heart melt!



This picture reportedly broke news in Prague because Shiloh is standing/walking.




While these pictures are so adorable, it kind of creeps me out that they're so obviously taken by a stalkarazzi with all the foliage in the shot.

Whatever, the public will take what they can get of this beautiful family.

Hollywood without Paris

Let's face it. The Jews still own Hollywood (yay!), but Paris Hilton runs it (boo!).

So life in Hollywood will change dramatically while Paris Hilton is in the slammer for 45 days. Here are some of the things that I predict will change.



Lindsay Lohan will finally be a redhead again without fear of being called "Firecrotch!"




Kim Kardishian will finally release her sex tape and become the curvier, wealthier version of Paris she has always dreamed of becoming.




And Nicole Richie will take over Hollywood. She's just as bitchy and immature as Paris to start unnecessary cat fights with all the young starlets. She'll mandate a no eating rule and coin "bitch" and "slut" as the new catch phrases.

Paris Hilton To (Rot) In Jail

Paris Hilton was sentenced to 45 days in jail yesterday for violating her parole not once, but three times. She failed to enroll in alcohol education classes and was caught twice driving on a suspended license. If she doesn't show to serve her time on June 5, her sentence will double to 90 days.

Her defense?

Blaming it all on the hardest working man in Hollywood- her publicist. Apparently it's his fault because he told her she could drive after 30 days. And what about the document she signed confessing she knew she was driving under a suspended license? Well, she actually didn't know what the document was and just signed it. Lame.

Like a great man, the judge didn't buy it. Seriously, how could he? Paris has so many people working for her that if her publicist didn't catch it, someone should have had the balls to tell her to stop driving. And is she that dumb where she didn't know what she was signing? Autographs are on blank papers, Paris, and don't have an X where you should sign your name.

My favorite part of the whole hearing is when her mom, Kathy Hilton, asked the judge for his autograph.

WTF?????????

I don't even get it.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Moral of the Story: Being blonde and rich may make you fabulous, but it doesn't mean you can get away with violating probation three times. But I guess it could potentially get you away with murder.

You gotta love the screwed up court systems that make up L.A.

The Queen's Fans are Cheeky

This Annie Liebovitz photograph of Queen Elizabeth II has caused quite a stir.
According to CNN.com, people are quite upset that the Queen wasn't pictured posing nude or covered with ropes, a la Liebovitz's famous John Lennon and Clint Eastwood shots.

Hold up! I'm getting that mental picture and... ewwwww!

If the Queen posed nude it would not be an example of great photography, but an example of great photoshop.

The woman is nearly dead, this is not her time to be making 'artistic' Playboy debuts!

This a photograph looks like every other royal photograph that doesn't involve puking Prince Harry... boring, stale, and perfect.

Kelly Shows Brunettes Do It Better

Here's the video for Kelly Clarkson's new single "Never Again." It's basically another (worse) version of all her man-bashing, catchy hits off her last album. But it's catchy and man-bashing, so of course I love it.

But what's really important is how spectacular she looks! Going au naturale with the hair color did her some good. She looks super sexy. One person commented on Youtube that he needed a cigarette after the video. I wouldn't go that far, but A++ for effort!

Britain's "Newlyweds" (Show) Is Croaking

Glamour model Katie Price, aka Jordan's husband is suffering from (sometimes) fatal meningitis- so much so that the guy can't even recognize his 'glamorous' wife. This doesn't surprise me, seeing as in his E! reality show he rarely could lift his eyes from his wife's silicone mass.

I know meningitis is not a joking matter and is actually quite serious, but the couple is so trashy they give Paris Hilton competition for who is the biggest joke. I wanted to like them, I really wanted to like their show, but after suffering through two episodes I feel like my brain is suffering from some fatal disease.

The worst part about this is Katie Price said her reality show is much better than the Beckham's highly anticipated TV debut of the same concept. God help us if that's true.

Lightning Strikes

When lightning strikes, barns burn down.

Unfortunately that's what happened to my uncle yesterday.
He lost a lot of kick ass cars and some irreplaceable mementos, but luckily no one was near the blast when it occurred. Apparently the lightning strike was so powerful that it not only burned the barn to the ground, but also split trees in half and took out all the power in the house 100 feet away.

My thoughts and prayers are with you!

What Life with Pres. Gore Would Look Like

Not only is the former VP doing the world a favor by giving us fabulous documentaries about global warming, he also understands how to give Americans some fabulous entertainment. No, not wars or guns, but the Hiltons. Watch this parody on the one and only Perez Hilton.