February 28, 2007

Washing Machines = Enemy #1

Just because they're shiny and clean things DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE GOOD!!!



Ya- me and washing machines have got ISSUES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Machine---

Why won't you unlock???

Why do I always break you??

Why do you chose to break down ONLY when I am using other people's washing machines? Why????



And why do you hold my clothes hostage with mildew? Are you jealous of my fashion sense??

I mean seriously- Am I not pretty enough for you??



This is how you make me feel. I wish you would stop being so difficult.



This needs to stop Mr. Washer.

Peace dude.

Seriously, Peace.

February 27, 2007

My Decolletage: Definition

Decolletage- mysterious, unknown, outdated perhaps?

NEVER!

For those of you who are uninformed about this beautiful thing called (my) decolletage- here's a starter's kit.

Decolletage's "I'm Feeling Lucky" Google Search sends you to Wikipedia's Cleavage site where it says:

"Cleavage is the cleft created by the partial exposure of a woman's breasts, especially when exposed by low-cut clothing. The neckline of a garment that exposes cleavage is known as décolletage."

Wiki's example is:



Now the Australian version, appropriately the 'down under' side of the region is:



And, well, when you're a flat chested American- your lacy bra will just have to do the trick:




My Decolletage- sure it's a little flat, but what it lacks in silicone it makes up for with risque (attire) commentary!

UPDATE: Thank you Adam for providing the fabulous shot of me and my decolletage. Without you, this post wouldn't be here.

M.I.A. Explanation

So I haven't posted in over a week, which is a total disgrace. My title as a blogger should be withdrawn- ASAP.

But before you do that I have a really good excuse!


A) I was dog/house sitting an apt that had poor internet service.

B) I had homework, work, and auditions to go to.

C) And the biggie- I was hosting three people in NYC at the same time while doing the two above!

If anyone knows me, they know I tend to stress. So on my day off I should've been reading this lovely book:



But instead I chose to read this one- with a glass of Chianti. (Note: I'm so broke my parents had to spring for thos $14 gem- thanks guys!)



But ALAS, after four pages I have decided to post on my decolletage... I'M BA-ACK!

February 19, 2007

Hell On Earth-- AKA McFadden's

I should've known better. 4 years in the City should've told me
A) Saturday night= Bridge & Tunnel
B) Midtown= Bridge & Tunnel-er
C) Demanding Cover= Desperate

So as soon as we walked in we were a very unhappy bunch.




The crowd was underaged, smelly (like sushi & B.O.), and creepy. For example, this bouncer was taking cell phone pictures of girls trying to shake their ass.




Luckily we scammed the system and took advantage of a free open bar
.



Some of us took more advantage of it than others- this is Nicky before his stomping spree-- and the 4 Long Islands.




Overall I felt like I was back at a gross college club in Michigan, but with more expensive drinks.

February 17, 2007

Buzz Cut Chic

Some people can pull off a buzz cut...

Sinead O'Connor



The Timeless Natalie Portman



And Of Course Dougie Fresh


What do these three beautiful people have in common?

A great bone structure.


Britney- you were blessed with many things- but a striking bone structure was not one of them.

Sorry.

Demi is Britney's New Madonna

In the 90's Britney was all about channeling the Madonna spirit- and saliva.

But Britney decided that having a 25 year career is gross and decided to channel has been Demi Moore.

Let's look at the process shall we?

1) Posing naked & very pregnant on a fashion magazine cover.



2) Moving the family to the Middle of Nowhere
Demi- Montana
Britney- Louisiana

3) Shaving off all hair



4) Kissing career Goodbye

5) Demi cradle robs Ashton Kutcher and becomes a star again in the... tabloids.
Britney corrupts--
Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliff
Musician Teddy Geiger
Nickelodeon star Jesse McCartney
--- and stars in the reality series "When The Caged Bird Sings" with jail mate Nicole Richie.

There Is Hope

Well not with Britney- or her hair.
She's totally f*ed. She might as well spare herself the lawyer fees and give KFed what he wants because he's soo gonna win.




But- the good news! Maybe there is a cool entertainment reporting job out there for me- this is proof!

Being #2's Never Been So Cute

As we all know Pugs are my #1-- But I'd be really happy to get a pomeranian too....




(Hint Hint)

Lindsay Lohan- Watch Out!

You've got some very skinny stripper shoes to fill in your next movie...


After seeing this I don't think Kate Moss has a career in choreographed dancing, but she definitely has one in stripping!


It's always good to have a back up plan :)

February 16, 2007

Someone Else Needs To Get Laid

Tim Hardaway isn't the only person who gets into other people's beeswax- Edward Cardinal Egan and Brooklyn Bishop Nicholas DiMarzio aren't happy with NYC's safe sex/free condom campaign:



According to the reliable NY Post, the two Catholic leaders think it is morally wrong to pass out safety precautions for life altering problems like unwanted pregnancies and HIV (of which NYC is the country's leader). Shocking considering this is the blanket conservative statement of the Catholic Church.

To Mr. Egan & DiMarzio's credit, they decided to modernize their approach and say it will not only "degrade societal standards" [insert priest molestation joke]- it will also cost the tax payer's money!

Good argument?

Nope! The Health Department says that if people use protection and don't have unwanted programs and STD's, it will actually cost people less money!


Maybe next time Mr. Egan & DiMarzio... Maybe next time

Someone Made An Oopsie

Apparently no one told Tim Hardaway to think before he speaks, or maybe he was too "homophobic" to care.



Hardaway was suspended from this weekend's NBA All Star game in Las Vegas because of crazy homophobic remarks made during a radio show in regards to Jim Amaechi being the first former NBA star to come out of the closet.

Highlights of his interview include:

"First of all I wouldn't want [a gay player] on my team."

"I don't think that is right. I don't think he should be in the locker room while we are in the locker room."
(But if it's female groupies oogling over you, it's okay)

"I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States."

And if you didn't get it the first few times, Hardaway clears up all uncertainty with: "I hate gay people."


Thank you for your enlightened conversation Mr. Hardaway.

Next time shut up and do the only thing you're good at- playing basketball. Oh Wait! You can't....



LGBT- 1
NBA- 0

February 14, 2007

Happy Valentine's Day!

For the rest of you--- have a very "love"ly day!!!

Happy Valentine's Day Sweets!

Happy Valentine's Day To My One & Only!



Kisses- XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX



MWAH!!!

XOXO,

Andrea

February 13, 2007

Glorious Grammy Disasters

While looking good at an awards show is always the goal- the trainwrecks are definitely what everyone talks about! Here's to the people who got us talking!


Maneater? It looks like a man, dog, & bear got a hold of Nelly Furtado's dress!
Ok, ok, totally cheesy-- but it's true. Too many trends, too many things trying to be the center of attention. A big No.


The 2007 Grammys were not Beyonce's award show. First the sheer dress, then this crazy number. Did it ever occur to Beyonce that she NEEDS to fire her (mom) stylist?!?!


Sorry John, you did not pull it off.
I know what you were thinking: I'm going to do the whole 'cool' it down night wear or casualize the formal. Buuuuuuuuuuuuttt you failed, miserably.
Hint: Get Pink's stylist, she seemed to pull of the look.


Neck up- Gorgeous! Love the Veronica Lake inspiration.
Neck Down- Brooke Hogan's 2012 internal convo: "OMG, that was my PROM dress?!?! What was a thinking? Wait- hold up- it was my Grammy dress?!?! OMG, where are the pills?!?!?!?"



You know how some people bounce back from a break up by looking better than ever? Well Hilary Duff's not one of them.

Photos courtesty of Eonline.com

Surprise Surprise!

These cats are all over the place when it comes to fashion-- and fashion faux pas. But this year they totally hit the mark!


Pink pulled off the very, very difficult "Tomboy Punk Rocker Meets Sexy Back" look. She looks fabulous- and like a total rock star.


Vanessa Minnillo's had her fair share of ups and downs (ahem- Oscars!) but she got it right this time. It's trendy, 60's, and better than Fergie's!!


Paula Abdul stopped taking her prescription medication and spiked Coke drinks long enough to pull it together for the red carpet. Keep up the good work!


Photos courtesy of EOnline.com

Keepin' the Red Carpet Sizzlin

The 2007 Grammy Awards, the music industry's top honor, were held in Californ-i-a this Sunday.

While these veterans always look fabulous- they show us that sometimes you can even outdo yourself. Kudos!


Totally a dress I would kill to wear! So young & fun Miss Fergie Ferg!


I love Christina Aguilera's new glam look- and I love it even more now that she's changing it up from her red lips to her baby blues. At first I was confused on where to look without the bright red lipstick, but after a while I realized the blue brings out her true beauty. Love it!


Metallics were in on the red carpet and at New York's fashion week. Way 2 Go JT. Kind of risky, but pulled it off.


Carrie Underwood is by far the most beautiful American Idol winner. Perfection.


Model Petra Nemcova & musician James Blunt are like the new gorgeous girl meets awkwardly social guy couple a.k.a. Courtney Cox-Arquette & David Arquette. They've each got their own style and totally rocked it- who cares if it didn't match!

Pictures courtesy of Eonline.com

My Sister's Podcastin' It

Here is the podcast of Julia's radio dating show win--> a 74% win I might add.


http://www.wtmx.com/mmpodcast/20070212-Mix_and_Match_February_12,_2007_-_WTMX-FM_Chicago.mp3



My sister totally won it with the "Six Pack Attack" gym answer and wanting a national holiday of "Day Off And Getting Paid Day." Oh, and Pat seems pretty cool too.


My only question though is-- why are they so obsessed with gym etiquette?

First of all - Chicago is in the Midwest, and Midwesteners are notoriously over weight and out of shape. Are there really that many people scrambling to go to the gym in Chicago?

I'd put my money on... No.

February 12, 2007

HD Is Not Flattering

I love HighDef because the lighting's phenomenal and makes everything look amazing-- except Beyonce.

The girl's hips were bigger than her voice... and that's huge!


And the lighting? Well it gave us a clear shot up her see-through dress.


Beyonce is way more talented than I will ever be, but PLEASE- for the love- stay away from sheer dresses & HD.... and the armpit pose please!!


Sugarbear- You Were Robbed!!

The toy poodle beat the pug in the toy dog category at the Westminster Dog Show in NYC today.



Please- the dog has fricken foos foos and a faux hawk!! Hello!!!

This is a real dog:



A pug has a curly tail and a loveable face- how can any breed even compete?? (Pic above not Sugarbear)


It's complete bullsh*t....


Sugarbear you will always be numero uno in my book!!!

My Sister's A Radio Star!!!

A match made in... radio land.




My sister was chosen by Chicago's 101.9 "The Mix" DJ to go on a date with Pat- two years her junior! Demi & Ashton style.

My sister received an overwhelming 76% of the vote! Yeeeah!

The radio show is called "Mix 'n Match" and is like The Dating Game Show on the radio where a bachelor asks questions to three bachelorettes and chooses them without seeing their pictures.

And what does the lucky Pat get to do with my sister?

Dinner & An Interactive Murder Show --- hmmm.... I don't know about this....

Stay tuned for more details, but for now check out: http://www.wtmx.com/mixmatch.php

Congrats Julia!!

OMG!!



For all of you who ever doubted figure skaters' athletic ability and toughness- here is some heroic proof!

Canadian pair skater Jessica Dube suffered severe injuries at the Four Continents figure skating competition in Colorado Springs on Thursday February 8th. After undergoing emergency surgery Jessica Dube is expected to make a recovery and return to the ice- I'm rooting for you!!!


Thanks for the tip Doug!

How To Deal With An Angry Girlfriend

Because of my inability to mesh with the newsroom world, my boyfriend HAS to hear about it. Due to the lack of experience on his part or the opinionated mouth of this decolletage- the conversation did not go well.



Here are some pointers for clueless boyfriends:


- Give tons of compliments


- Whoever she is mad at is either
a) a bastard
b) a bitch
c) an asshole
d) a f*ckin loser
e) all of the above


- Tell her that you BELIEVE in her abilities and know she will make those cringe at their mistake


- NEVER, EVER, EVER tell her your honest opinion... especially when you think she's at fault


- Let her talk... and talk... and talk...


- If all else fails say "I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU"


Women are from Venus & Men are from Mars- hopefully the two will be able to communicate effectively on Earth. One day.

Fashion Is Too Cool For School

Apparently this article was not up to the urban university's standards--- what do you think??


It was bitterly cold this week but inside the Bryant Park tents fashionistas from around the world were boiling with excitement for the fall 2007 collections at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week.

“I get an adrenaline rush just walking into the Tents,” Carmen Electra told The Daily. “It feels like a rock concert!”

The runway culture has gone through its share of scandals and bad press as of late, but most people who attend the bi-annual event are there to be inspired by the designs and the eclectic mix of people.

“All these young people and their creativity inspire the hell out of me,” agent and fashion industry veteran Richard Francis said. “It keeps me two years old.”

Stylist Kate Challoner agrees that the creative buzz and energy inside the tents keeps her coming back. “Whenever I come to fashion week my faith in the industry is renewed,” Kate said. “I really feel like I’m here for a reason, to make people look beautiful and to encourage these designers to continue their craft.”

Many of the fall collections were inspired by youthful social scenes of the sixties, twenties, and thirties, putting classic looks with funky colors and accessories.

From elegant designer Carolina Herrera to funky Betsey Johnson, black opaque tights were on almost every single runway. This was a staple look of sixties fashion icon Edie Sedgwick, the subject of the recently released biopic Factory Girl.


Carolina Herrera Look

Going with the sixties theme was a general color palette of bright blues and magentas paired with black. The hemlines of the skirts and dresses were also very mini as seen in Catherine Malandrino magenta oversized shirt dresses and Abaete’s slew of sleeveless silk dresses.


Abaete Look

Australian designer Jayson Brunsdon cited another iconic woman as his muse, ‘Deco Diva’ and artist Tamara de Lempicka. Brunsdon also used a lot of silk, open cut backs, and drop waists. Vogue editor Anna Wintour’s darling line, Tadashi, had a similar aesthetic, with a silver beaded flapper dress and a black and gold deco patterned mini dress.



Tadashi Looks

Runway shows are supposed to exude a mystical perfection of beauty, but Avo Yermagen, head of the Gaudy PR film in Beverly Hills, saw some shows that hilariously missed the mark. “I mean the backdrop almost fell over, [the models were] falling on their heels, the music was too low… you can hear them clicking and clacking down the front row,” Yermagen said. “It’s been interesting.”



The appeal of fashion week for Yermagen is not about the famous faces in the front row. “Obviously you have your Anna Wintours, your actresses and socialites,” Yermagen said. “But what I find really interesting, what I feel keeps fashion week alive and thriving is the art students, the fashion students that are coming here. No invitations, no expectations of gift bags or photographers. Just coming in, waiting in line, standing all day and seeing the show because they love it, because they live off fashion.”

Yet the wide-eyed art students were noticeably absent this year. It could have been the artic blast that kept them away or the unusual very strict door policy that was implemented this season.

Nonetheless some crafty students, including Yale student Carmen Yuen, were able to sneak past the velvet rope and enter the exciting fashion world. “It’s inspiring to see… You can wear what you want and be what you want for a little while,” said Yuen. “Fashion week is an event that can only happen in New York. It’s a once in a lifetime thing.”

Pictures courtesy of Getty Images & ThisisLondon.co.uk

February 11, 2007

What's In Your Refrigerator?

I have one banana, milk, eggs, and sugar free Jello vanilla pudding- mmm mmm good. :)

This is what Anna Nicole Smith had in her fridge when she died according to TMZ.Com:



MSNBC said she was prescribed over ten painkillers for her two recent boob jobs because she had developed a "tolerance." Boy that is quite the tolerance. Where was that doctor when I had my wisdom teeth taken out?!?


But that still does not explain the Methadone. Sadly, both of the Smiths knocked out by methadone. Maybe the White House Drug Policy should change this description:

"Methadone is a rigorously well-tested medication that is safe and efficacious for the treatment of narcotic withdrawal and dependence."

Can Someone Please Buy Me This Dress!!!





I swayed a bit from Sienna. I admit it. I may have been influenced too much by Perez Hilton, but after this I am officially obsessed again.


Sienna Miller at the 2007 B.A.F.T.A. Awards in London.

Engadget Revealed



Peter Rojas has the #1 blog in the world - Engadget- and is the highest paid blogger after AOL's $25 milllion buyout.

Here are some great quotes from our interview--

On Engadget's audience-
"People that follow cell phones the way that other people follow sports."

On blog superiority-
"A gadget blog is much better than a magazine. I know because I put two out of business."

On Engadget's job applications-
"You'd be surprised how many people think they can write and they can't. It's like American Idol. It's shocking sometimes... We get people who apply and the applications are as if English isn't their first language- and it is!"

On being called a journalist-
"It feels like too much fun to be journalism to be honest. It almost feel like we're getting away with something."

February 09, 2007

The Night of Famous People- Best Installment!!!

Then the DJ started saying BRITNEY SPEARS and playing I'm a Slave 4 U.

Low and behold Mis Thang was in the back... surrounded by bodyguards.

Since my friend basically runs Tenjune we snuck back and partied with the table. She was just dancing, doing nothing crazy.

But her hair is still that crazy black color (top left) and she did not look good. But at least she wasn't passing out, so I guess a step in the right direction?




But I digress.

The biggest thing about this was THEY WERE PLAYING HER NEW STUFF!!! And my reaction? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO No, Britney, don't do it!!!

It's bad fake euro pop music. It sounds exactly like In The Zone but way more mellow and dark, and not catchy at all.

It was kind of sad because as soon as she arrived and the DJ started playing her stuff, the place cleared.


I'm no longer Team Britney. I've lost all hope.

The Night of Famous People- Part 3

I grew impatient and fled to Tenjune where it went from D List to A List pretty quick.

I met Fonzworth Bentley!!!!!!!!!

I know, not exactly A list, but at least he's a little more legit.

I figured that since he was once a butler and justified holding an umbrella for a hip hop mogul as a career that he'd be a little, well, subservient? To my pleasant surprise, Fonzworth was really cool.

And I told him this- to his face.

At first he was offended, but no one can resist a smile from a girl in leopard. So he smiled and agreed to take the pictures. :)


The Night of Famous People

Last night was the kind of night that makes me love New York Citaaaaaay.

First it started off with a random phone call that became backstage passes to Jayson Brunsdon's show. Then backstage I ran into people I had met at the Mao Mag party...



As well as Bronques (pronounced like Bronx) & his lovely intern from LastNightsParty.Com. Ok, I know, he's not really a celebrity, but he's definitely an underground diva.


The Night of Famous People- Part 2

Then Bronques, the two NYU half Japanese beauties, and Plain Jane (me) went to the Maritime Hotel for the Jayson Brunsdon after party.

As can be assumed it was as bad as the show. Or maybe it was because we arrived after the open bar was finished. oops!

So we went down to Hiro where Steve Aoki (I know I butchered the spelling) was going to DJ. In order to fill the time we did was Bronques does best- take fabulous photos!!



The New Factory Girl?

The one redeeming quality of Jayson Brunsdon's show was- his muse!!

It's none other than the Deco Diva herself, artist (& fellow Pole) Tamara de Lempicka.







Lempicka is by far my favorite painter and now that I've read her wikipedia bio I'm obsessed with her as well. She was a socialite who had scandalicious affairs, fabulous friends (Picasso anyone?), and fought the Nazis before anyone else figured out the severity of the situation!



I haven't seen Factory Girl yet, but I'm sure this would be an even better biopic!

When the Outback & East Egg Collide

A gorey kangaroo & taxi pile up ensues.

Well at least that's what the vibe at Australian designer Jayson Brunsdon's show thought.



It was his first ready-to-wear collection and by all means it was nothing of the sort. The models repeatedly tripped over their dresses or were wound so tightly in the fabric that they walked the speed of a tortoise.




One poor model's dress (not any pictured) came down and showed off her undergarments causing a ripple effect of chatter and laughter that nearly drowned out the music. Unfortunately I think she thought everyone was laughing at her instead of the poor craftsmanship, because there were tears dripping down her face before she exited the catwalk.

In defense of Mr. Brunsdon and the models, the unprofessional and rude chatter of the crowd was completely uncalled for. Yes, sometimes straps slide off the models. They're the size of toothpicks, it's just a fact of life. But never have I ever witnessed such disruptive and embarrassing behavior by the audience- never! And I've been to nearly ten shows in my life- which totally makes me an expert.

February 08, 2007

Will Kim Kardashian's Sex Tape Help Her Career?



Ummmmm- What Career???

It's going to do much more than 'help' her career- it's going to start it.

The "stylist" is best known for being Paris Hilton's BFF. And I'm sure she's been taking a few pointers from the herpes infested heiress.



First Step- Sex Tape (with Z-Lister Ray J a.k.a Brandy's lil' brother).

Second Step- Reality Show.

Third Step- Vagina Flashes.

Fourth Step- Lose All Dignity.

No Better Word Than Tragic

Anna Nicole Smith has passed away at only 39 years old.





Anna Nicole's life has been tabloid fodder since the mysterious overdose and death of her beloved son Daniel. E! News has said that the stress of her son's death and the custody battle over her newborn daughter may have attributed to her untimely death.




Anna Nicole Smith was either loved or loathed, but either way she made her presence known. It's really an interesting tragedy to have a famous, iconic person pass away. For the majority of the public it will be almost as if she never left because all we ever had of her was film and pictures, and those will continue forever.




Sure she had her very public problems, but she always seemed to pull herself together some way or another. She was the beautiful train wreck that you couldn't help but watch- and root for.




Hopefully she'll find more beauty and peace now than she did while she was alive.



Truly a tragedy.

Arrest Me- I Dare You

"Tech consuming" New Yorkers may get a ticket for crossing the street while using their iPods or Crackberries according to Cnn.com.

After three deaths in Brooklyn Senator Kruger has decided that this is a major problem that needs immediate action.



Yes, this cute lil' pink device is a major concern for New Yorkers. Not skyrocketing rent prices. Not overzealous bouncers who tend to murder club goers. Not even the homeless in these arctic temperatures can match the devestation this lil' device is causing New Yorkers.




Well at least I'm still allowed to (il)legally J Walk.

February 07, 2007

I Luv the 80's- STRIKES BACK

Grey Ant kicked off fashion week down in fabulous Chelsea. The label is mostly known for their denim, but for fall 2007 they decided to get rid of this new millennium denim craze and channel the decade of fashion crazies-- the 80's.

Channeling the 80's Half-Up Half-Down 'Look'...


And the loud make up choices...
Would you like more cheek for that blush?


And this poor soul- The Glasses, The Crimped Hair, The High Waisted Pants...




While the show was fabulous, I must admit I'm happy it was just a show. No way am I going back to high waisted jeans.

I'll let you in on a little secret--
The beauty of the low waisted skinny jeans is that women don't actually have to be skinny! The Frappuccino infested belly fat rolls neatly over the pants, so we can breathe and eat. See? In those high waisted puppies women couldn't eat-- or breathe-- for that matter. And last time I checked, those two things did not equal sexy.

When Champagne Goes To Your Head...

What started off as a lovely evening to the MoMA


Turned into this...





And this....





My camera was feeling it too- those cool half open shots were not done on purpose!


This is what happens when there's a $55 champagne bottle special.

Mao-nificent







Two Firsts in one post: My first blog rendezvous and my first ever post!!

Kicked off NYC's Mercedes Benz Fashion Week at the Mao Mag Party

Trannies, Fashionistas, & Debbie Harry- what more could a girl ask for?


Pics thanks to the fabulous Bronques @ LastNightsParty.Com